Seal of Joy

2006-08-21T22:25:00.000+08:00

die.

2006-06-06T08:00:00.000+08:00

hidden vipers, steel fangs, black venom.
better watch out. people of this world are fast degenerating.

2006-05-17T23:39:00.000+08:00

no matter what the outcome would have been, could have been, might have been... know that You are still my God....

2006-05-15T09:10:00.000+08:00

so what the fuck am i supposed to do with that fucking lens now? i dislike long-distance. fuck shit man..... i hate my parents.... i wnt to be alone away from them.....

2006-05-14T23:01:00.000+08:00

i hate this fuck shit life...

my ideal life is to live alone in a studio apartment in town.
just go out work.... come back play my guitar...
just be happy and live a simple God-worshipping life.

yeah in that life, im an orphan.

2006-05-11T23:53:00.000+08:00

school has started... im trying my best.... but i get so tired. and its like... you're supposed to care for me.... and i guess im too chilled for you? im not cold. i just want to chill....

2006-04-24T08:18:00.000+08:00

well no suprise is there? no friends, no contacts. left behind so early on in the race. so fucked up (: and it'll get more fucked up with my tutorial grp, etc etc. blah blah blah

2006-04-17T23:48:00.000+08:00

you're disapointing. some friend you are. can't even bother to reply a simple msg. but will perk up at your other 'friends' who drag you to do dumb things. oh well... such is impetuous youth.

why do i even bother to help or listen to you especially now that school is reopening. oh well.... i've learned to take you at face value. so don't mind me ribbing you.

2006-04-12T08:01:00.000+08:00

apparently its too much to even ask for a bit of care and concern.
apparently its too much to even ask for money for a haircut.
apparently...

my parents died not long ago.... well actually maybe they did quite some time ago... its so hard to remember.... when you're something that is preoccupied with the night... i'll drink coffee just to stay the night and be alone... nobody better touch my night. nobody better talk to me in the night.... its not by choice i like the nighttime....

its my parents.... after their deaths.... two imposter ghouls moved in... they look like the real thing. they move, the eat, they scold.... but they never love, understand or listen...

so i've gone into hiding.... i've hidden my pain and my true self deep in a mirror. when people see me, they see my outer shell. when they talk to me, they talk to my outer psyche....

but nobody is ever going to care and i wont let anyone care.... i dont want to be near people.... i would be lying if i said im anti-social... im not.... im just too hurt...

god bless you all...

and may he have mercy on the ghouls

2006-03-30T08:35:00.000+08:00

hmm....

2006-03-02T17:21:00.000+08:00

Can there be joy without love? can there be love without peace and trust?

Christians should believe and trust in the love of God...

in any case.... i wouldnt know about the other denominations and catholics.

2006-02-20T22:42:00.000+08:00

go away.

2006-02-17T22:53:00.000+08:00

dont pms on me. i wan everybody to just chill.

2005-12-31T17:01:00.000+08:00

Lord, im your unworthy servant. im nothing in this world.... im broken and depressed.

2005-12-27T18:57:00.000+08:00

so im back from kukup malaysia. singapore feels like heaven after that.
im still alive... im back... nobody looks or sounds too happy to see me.

they are thinking, "oh why did he come back? he promised to die in malaysia!"
while smiling at me and feeding me honeyed words.

yum.

haiiz.... im back.... nothing has changed. only more work to do. im back.. and attitude is still being thrown at me. i pray that one day you will see the light and we both be set free.

2005-12-21T22:08:00.000+08:00

well so im the only fucking loser boy around issit? people always come to me and say they are my friends. well... friends dont disappear on each other. friends dont hold grudges. friends dont hurt each other for fun. friends listen to each other.

i have no friends who fulfill even two out of the above. im not picky. i dont have high expectations of people. rather the reverse.... ive lost faith in humankind.

here i stand... accused of anger again. and i cant say im righteous. ill never be free.... no matter what... bitter and angry. how long can i delude myself...?

sometimes i really wish to fall intol the abyss... people are my bane. they bring the worst in me. the hatred and the bickering and the overwhelming urge to bash their heads in.

im a psycho in the making. and nobody's love.... can save me.

2005-12-20T08:11:00.000+08:00

i feel like im being kicked around by a mood. i feel like
im being made to feel im being punished for smth wrong when i had no choice
but to devote time. i feel like im always being taken for granted."

now you know how i felt last time..... too bad. im tired of feeling like im being the one at fault. like ive done smth wrong. im tired of feeling like i owe you smth. im tired of always being accused of 'not caring' or 'not been there'. and when i am... theer is no gratitude. if i try to improve... you ask if im weird. make up your mind.

never mind... one day i wont be here. i hate being treated and pushed around like this.
men have a defensive mechanism. called 'overload'
too much of the same shit overloads the male brain and everything gets tuned out.
its proven.

2005-12-10T11:05:00.000+08:00

Jesus don't want me for a sunbeam
Sunbeams are never made like me
Don't expect me to cry
For all the reasons you had to die
Don't ever ask your love of me

Don't expect me to cry
Don't expect me to lie
Don't expect me to die
Don't expect me to cry
Don't expect me to lie
Don't expect me to die for thee

---

and my heart is breaking. at how little love i get.

2005-12-09T19:04:00.000+08:00

WE ARE ALL THE HURT TO EACH OTHER.
WE ARE IN A CHEMICAL ROMANCE.
WE ARE INCINERATING EACH OTHER'S LIVES.
WE ARE BREAKING EACH OTHERS HEARTS.

but ill be holding on tonight...
whats the worse that i could say?
i thought things were better if i stay.

well if you carry on this way...
things are better if i stay...

trapped... a part of me is forever swathed in chaotic anger. the other is struggling to find peace. within myself im dying.

i really pray something will happen....
but i really can't see the end... i cant cheer up and think of a brighter future.
so i do what i do.
i turn goth and laugh at the world.
because im bleeding inside. and none of the people around me see my pain or hear my longing whispers.

let me fall....

2005-12-07T08:43:00.000+08:00

i'm just a faithless, grovelling mongrel...
im just a hate machine.
we are two too toxic.

2005-12-02T21:53:00.000+08:00

i dont know anything anymore. what to do, what to do?

it hurts so much.

The Used - Take it Away

I'm lying to myself
And this dagger's my excuse
I'm a pawn
I should have paid up
And I left an hour late
I was laid up

I must abuse myself
I'm against all that I've made up
Set in stone, the sun will come
And I hate light
You know I hate light
Don't make it look so pretty burning

Burn the sun
Burn the light
Take take take take take take it away
Take my hand
Take my life
Take take take take take take it away

I must have caught something
In the heat of all these dances
I'm a worm with no more chances
And I've lost all doubt
In a chemical romance

I can't stop itching
Over thoughts of tarnished hope
Kinda funny
Lonely Feeling
I'm not in love
You know it's not love
Don't make it look so pretty burning

Brothers and sisters
I'm right here with you
Cause everyone's got one
A story to kill me
I'm so apathetic in my resentment
Living, loving, knowing not...

Take my.. life

Take my heart
Take my mind
Take my lungs

Take my.. life !

Burn the sun
Burn the light
Take take take take take take it away
Take my hand
Take my life
Take my life
Take my life

*distortion of pain*

2005-11-30T22:32:00.000+08:00

i'm very disappointed with myself. if only i had pushed myself harder... then the radio magazine could have been completed on time...

haiiz... and the other issue... i hope that i heard or understood wrongly...
it hurts so much seeing how far apart we are now. and shes not the only one... i know its not like they are SCARED of me. they aren't... maybe they wonder why? or how or whatever i changed. its about the change isn't it?

can't people see i'm still me.... last time nobody would give a hoot if i 'changed'. now a major one and everyone acts surprised and awkward around me.

why? i'm still me.... still me....

2005-11-29T23:22:00.000+08:00

Kurt Cobain's suicide note:

To Boddah pronounced
Speaking from the tongue of an experienced simpleton who obviously would rather be an emasculated, infantile camplainee. This note should be pretty easy to understand. All the warnings from the punk rock 101 courses over the years. Since my first introduction to the, shall we say, ethics involved with independence and the embracement of your community has proven to be very true. I haven't felt the exitement of listening to as well as creating music along with reading and writing for too many years now. I feel guilty beyond words about these things. For example when we're backstage and the lights go out and the manic roar of the crowd begins it doesn't affect the way in which it did for Freddy Mercury who seemed to love and relish in the love and adoration from the crowd. Which is something I totally admire and envy. The fact is I can't fool you. Any one of you. It simply isn't fair to you or me. The worst crime I can think of would be to put people off by faking it and pretending as if I'm having 100 % fun. Sometimes I feel as if I should have a punch in time clock before I walk out on stage. I've tried everything within my power to appreciate it, and I do. God, believe me I do but it's not enough.
I appreciate the fact that I and we have affected and entertained a lot of people. I must be one of one of those narcissists who only appreciate things when they're gone. I'm too sensitive. I need to be slightly numb in order to regain the enthusiasm I once had as a child. On our last three tours I've had a much better appreciation for all the people I've known personally and as fans of our music, but I still can't get over the frustration, the guilt and empathy I have for everyone. There's good in all of us and I think I simply love people too much. So much that it makes me feel too fucking sad. The sad little, sensitive, unappreciative, pisces Jesus man! Why don't you just enjoy it? I don't know. I have a goddess of a wife who sweats ambition and empathy and a daughter who reminds me too much of what I used to be.
Full of love and joy kissing every person she meets because everyone is good and will do her no harm. And that terrifies me to the point to where I can barely function. I can't stand the thought of Frances becoming the miserable self-destructive, death rocker that I've become. I have it good, very good, and I'm grateful, but since the age of seven I've become hateful towards all humans in general. Only because it seems so easy for people to get along, and have empathy. Empathy! Only because I love and feel for people too much I guess. Thank you all from the pit of my burning nauseous stomach for your letters and concern during the past years. I'm too much of an erratic, moody baby! I don't have the passion anymore and so remember, its better to burn out than to fade away. Peace, love, empathy. Kurt Cobain
Frances and Courtney, I'll be at your alter.
Please keep going Courtney
For Frances
For her life which will be so much happier without me. I Love you. I love you!

taken from nirvanaclub.com

-----

haiiz...
i can relate to him.
alot.
i feel numb. fake. people say im too sensitive. and i dislike humans also. i think people are jerks and i don't want the world to see me.

2005-11-29T00:18:00.000+08:00

this be the third time i felt ill... i think i'm weakening... i'm tired.
but i console myself.
i don't walk alone.
for two reasons.

words fail me.
so...
And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive

And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

2005-11-27T23:28:00.000+08:00

radio>commiss>webd

i don't know why.... but i feel surreal... haiiz. so detached from this world.
and i like this blog better. it feels cleaner and more peaceful.
(:

2005-11-27T19:07:00.000+08:00

fucking. hell.

why do i bother?

haiiz....

black is the endless void i seek to fill. black is a lonely colour. because it absorbs all light into itself, it can't stand with others... its lonely.
white is the colour of truce and peace.

thorns are unloved. therefore, thorns means untouchable and unloved.

red is the colour anger.
if blue is the color of sadness, then dark blue is the colour of misery.

the contrast of black against white, and red against blue symbolizes conflict.
a struggle.

2005-11-26T19:18:00.000+08:00

shh...

i think the more friends one thinks he/she has, the more selfish he/she becomes. the more he/she feels he/she can afford to lose one friend.

i barely have any... thats why i can empathise with people better. the loneliest people are the kindest. the poorest are the most humble.

haiiz...
i keep thinking back to those days.
different eras. but im speaking specifically about sem 1 term 1. i think i had my ups and downs. but it wasnt so bad. i had people to ask out. sure... most of the time its me who ask people out (as opposed to being asked out), but at least i could hang out.

now i don't know who to turn to. and nobody asks me out anymore...
i just wish my friends would love me more. love and miss me so they would ask me out. but you know what... i don't feel that way anymore. i just feel empty. i don't really miss going out with people. i just have all these vague memories and the feeling that im missing some sort of happines....

i just wish i was even more important that people REMEMBER me. remember me enough to remember to invite me out. but im not first-string, not second-string, not third-string. im the last string. the ones where out of desperation for anyone to hang out with, you call.

but im sick of being hurt by them.
~~im sick and tired of being sick and tired and blogging and either no one reads or they read and write me off furthermore.~~

and thats why i turned off the path.

2005-11-26T16:50:00.000+08:00

shhh.....

2005-10-05T19:36:00.000+08:00

no reason to cry

Crucify my love
If my love is blind
Crucify my love
If it sets me free
Never know
Never trust
That love should see a color
Crucify my love

If it should be that way
Swing the heartache
Feel it inside out
When the wind cries
I'll say good-bye
Tried to learn
Tried to find

To reach out for eternity
Where's the answer
Is this forever
Like a river flowing to the sea
You'll be miles away, and I will know
I know I can deal with the pain
No reason to cry

If it should be that way
'Til the loneliness shadows the sky
I'll be sailing down and I will know
I know I can clear clouds away
Oh Is it a crime to love
Swing the heartache

Feel it inside out
When the wind cries
I'll say good-bye
Tried to learn
Tried to find
To reach out for eternity
Where's the answer
Is this forever
If my love is blind

Crucify my love
If it sets me free
Never know
Never trust
That love should see a color
Crucify my love
If it should be that way

2005-10-05T18:20:00.000+08:00

what a mess.
a bloody nightmare involving blades and hair and redemption and the oppsite of reality gave me perspective.
sorry
thanks for driving me to the edge people. whereas you ahve your primary and secondary, ive got nobody. nobody should have to care for me, to love me, to bleed for me, to fight for me, to even hear me out. two certain somebodies were smart. make that three.

2005-10-05T13:38:00.000+08:00

i cant seem to get anything right can i?

maybe its right i die. maybe i am not meant to have any friends.

its just not fair.

if i was destined to be loved. then why these? why... god tell me why? are you listening? do only you listen?

can i help it? could it have been helped? this blog is as lonely as me. its perfect.

none of you shall ever understand. you shant ever see the tears i cry.

2005-10-05T09:27:00.000+08:00

kinda crappy when you got not much people to turn to. not that the whole 'circle' should know. but it still sucks when you have only a few numbers to msg.

where art thou? boo...

--

no God of War for xbox. so please let this come.

2005-10-03T22:41:00.001+08:00

Tsubasa - Princess Sakura (yeah from cardcaptor)
Posted by Picasa

2005-10-03T22:41:00.000+08:00

Tsubasa - Princess Sakura (yeah from cardcaptor)
Posted by Picasa

2005-10-03T21:44:00.000+08:00

what a sad life i live. you might describe it as 'no life'.

come to think of it.

i feel so sad. i just pray im wrong.

goodbye my new old friend

..

its so hard to smile now. i laugh mirthlessly.
i really cant bring myself to smile. i cant... i cant see whats the joy in living.

this isnt a smile. its my muscles twitching. this doesnt sound like a laugh. its sounds depraved. this isnt peace im feeling. its watered down numbness. this isnt me. its a shadow of my former self.

sorry peeps.

2005-10-03T19:33:00.000+08:00

tsubasa is so sad....

2005-10-03T10:35:00.000+08:00

click.click.click. and i slept the day away.

2005-10-02T11:01:00.000+08:00

lost our way.

oops...

anyway i had a feeling its fated. a really strong instinct that we werent meant to go... for some strange reason.

2005-09-30T13:11:00.000+08:00

my family is a decidedly dysfunctional one.

.
..
...
..
.

well nothing new though.
just watching old re-runs of my past memories in my mind.
emotions run wild, fresh as today's papers.

my jeans smell funny. and no its not cause i didnt wash them for two weeks. it just smells funny.

---

On a cobweb afternoon
In a room full of emptiness
By a freeway I confess
I was lost in the pages
Of a book full of death
Reading how we'll die alone
And if we're good we'll lay to rest
Anywhere we want to go

---

2005-09-28T21:46:00.000+08:00

well my little brother's friend bought him a cake. how sweet.

its some chocolate mousse cake thingie according to my ma.

im posting pics on the other side (space limits here)

2005-09-28T17:09:00.000+08:00

its my bros b'day today! and i found out yesterday! woohoo!

anyway chill.

2005-09-26T23:27:00.000+08:00

do i really think too much? i think thinking too much is fine... maybe its just the way i think?

haiiz... i am trying... whatever. whatever. just ignore me then and whatever me.

ciaoz... i may not live long anyway! (:

2005-09-26T09:06:00.000+08:00

ok this is very interesting.

Huggington post - Bigotry in the name of Jesus

btw according to the Longman Dictionary of Contemporary English Online

bigotry = bigoted behaviour or beliefs
bigoted = having such strong opinions about a group of people that you are unwilling to listen to anyone else's opinions

2005-09-25T20:58:00.000+08:00

i wana watch

1. nightwatch
2. the myth (yeah dont laugh kz? i think its rather interesting)
3. cinderall man
4. brothers grimm

so who wants to indulge me??? haha better yet treat me?

--

the myth's trailer is playing on TV. but instead of the those noisy crap trailers, they are playing the theme song of the movie. its very nice!

its in chinese and korean i think. the music is really so beautiful. soothing and yet a sense of hope and adventure permeates the entire score. LOL! a much better way to screen a trailer - music that appeals to the soul! + shorts from the movie itself of course.

--

my parents went to watch it. leaving me and my sister stranded in the middle of orchard road yesterday. rather pissed about it. and my hair sucks furthermore! the least they can do is treat me like an intelligent being instead of trying to lie to me.

bah! humbug!

2005-09-25T15:39:00.000+08:00

i just watched the MV for "Green Day - Wake me up when september ends"

oh.... has themes of war again... its so sad...

but the fate of the guy is unknown. but still its sad....

i can imagine that if war comes... i think ill go first. coz well.... whats there to live for?

2005-09-23T10:50:00.000+08:00

i dreamt i was supposed to go escape work. but then the person-in-charge puts me (in all incredibly illogical logic that only happens in dreams) at cocolatte. i was like... what?

2005-09-23T10:49:00.000+08:00

NRA girl dancers. good-looking? well... *shrugs*
Posted by Picasa

2005-09-23T10:44:00.000+08:00

my tiny house.
Posted by Picasa

2005-09-23T10:41:00.000+08:00

also in the living room
Posted by Picasa

2005-09-23T10:27:00.000+08:00

erm... ok what?
Posted by Picasa

2005-09-23T10:23:00.000+08:00

ooh Aranda Country Club
Posted by Picasa

2005-09-23T10:06:00.000+08:00

hmm i like the what-do-you-call-it? contrast? density? or smth. boo forgot the term.
Posted by Picasa

2005-09-23T10:03:00.000+08:00

Posted by Picasa

2005-09-22T13:15:00.000+08:00

erm ok whatever.
Posted by Picasa

2005-09-22T13:08:00.000+08:00

sorry cant resist (:
Posted by Picasa

2005-09-22T12:50:00.000+08:00

last pic of the beach. photography class was fun.
Posted by Picasa

2005-09-22T12:49:00.001+08:00

another shot of a jetty that seems to be closed off to the public. yeah its ubin.
Posted by Picasa

2005-09-22T12:49:00.000+08:00

a wonderful beach at Pulau Ubin. hmm...
Posted by Picasa

2005-09-22T12:32:00.000+08:00

the framing would be better if it was more to the left. just a note to the person who took this.
Posted by Picasa

2005-09-22T12:17:00.000+08:00

yeah. national day at PS to do project. you guys remember?
Posted by Picasa

2005-09-22T12:15:00.000+08:00

aww he must be so proud of his grandson.
Posted by Picasa

2005-09-22T12:13:00.000+08:00

the kiddo is so cute (: i love this pic
Posted by Picasa

2005-09-22T09:17:00.000+08:00

one night a master woke to find his disciple crying.

he asked, "did you have a nightmare?"

"no", the disciple sobbed.

"did you have a sad dream?"

"no", the disciple wept.

"then what is the matter?"

"i had a happy dream", the disciple replied, wiping his tears.

"then why are you sad?"

"because the dream i had will never come true."

-------

i sleep so long when i can... but i still find so tired.

the only thing that ever comes out of sleeping so long is more dreams. more nightmares. more sad dreams.

i dreamt i was a soldier who got blown by up a child suicide bomber. we were in the trenches surrounded by explosive ordinance and then he ambled along and no one shot him cause everyone hesitated. and then there was a blinding white flash. and i woke up.

only to drift back to sleep.

haiiz.... whatever.

---

Sudoku: the game that is taking the world by storm! ok that sounds so cool. but its more like a quiet takeover.

2005-09-21T21:36:00.000+08:00

oh im so sad...

2005-09-21T06:34:00.000+08:00

oh i just watched the MCR video for 'ghost of you'... oh its so sad.

it starts with some german? soldiers having their last dance at some ball. then the MCR pple were dressed really weirdly. i mean weirder than norm. (: gerad looks like elvis.

than the next thing... its wartime. i guess the next day the men are going to war. so this is the last night they dance with their female partners.

At the end of the world
Or the last thing I see
You are
Never coming home
Never coming home
Could I? Should I?
And all the things that you never ever told me
And all the smiles that are ever ever...
Ever...

so emo... they warred against these lyrics. and fought to go home. but they wont ever. they will never see their loved ones. they will die... alone, surrounded by enemy soldiers on a foreign land. wishing... but no.

so they danced one last time. and MCR was the band playing at the 'ball'. just before they go, there have the band and the soldiers look back at the women. and then they turn to leave. and the camera shifts to the women looking forlornly and helplessly at their men going. its going to be the last time they see them.

dying is hard. when you die alone. but thats so funny. because... we all die alone. we all will die alone and miserable. death is only yourself. how can you die NOT alone? even if someone dies with you. its not you two. its you.

sorry... so emo now...

Get the feeling that you're never
All alone and I remember now
At the top of my lungs in my arms she dies
She dies

oh the look of them. and later on the battlefield one of the members get shot to death. and oh... so sad. cause while at the ball he was smiling at one of the women.

oh....

And all the things that you never ever told me
And all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me
Never coming home
Never coming home
Could I? Should I?
And all the wounds that are ever gonna scar me
For all the ghosts that are never gonna catch me

haiiz... MCR rocks.... i think to truly appreciate their music you are either
1. depressed
2. emo
3. vampires

theirs like a whole subliminal level to their lyrics... its not direct. itdoesnt jump out and start sprouting expletives to get attention. its subtle.. much like coldplay. but more... well. emo. if thats what pple wana call it. fine by me.

2005-09-20T08:37:00.000+08:00

hmm.... i just went somebody's blog. v sad.... shant name names. its sensitive.
but it reminds me of another person's blog. shant name names again. but that guy made me so mad. but oh why do i care? fool.

one is like after. one is during.
nvm

Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a tear

but still....

There is respect in fighting gallantly to win someone's heart another time.
But an even greater respect comes from fighting hard and knowing when
to stop. Even though you would give anything to have the past back, that
person has touched your life in a way that will make your future so much
brighter.

Accept that, and hold your head high knowing you have captured their
heart as well.

There is courage in allowing your heart to hurt and grieve. But there is
greater courage in knowing it will be scarred. But stronger as time goes
on. For whoever caused those scars has made your life better in some
way. And it will make you a better person when you marry.

Because of what the scars taught you.

"Relationships--of all kinds--are like sand held in your hand. Held loosely, with an open hand, the sand remains where it is. The minute you close your hand and squeeze tightly to hold on, the sand trickles through your fingers. You may hold onto some of it, but most will be spilled. A relationship is like that. Held loosely, with respect and freedom for the other person, it is likely to remain intact. But hold too tightly, too possessively, and the relationship slips away and is lost." -Kaleel Jamison

i somehow feel this isnt the case. i think she was rather normal. there were worse cases? heh... what am i saying anyway...

Falling in Love
(from the book "Letters to my Son", by Kent Nerburn)

It is a mystery why we fall in love.
It is a mystery how it happens.
It is a mystery when it comes.
It is a mystery why some love grows and it is a mystery why
some love fails.

And just as life itself is a gift that comes and goes in its own time, so
too, the coming and going of love must be taken as an unfathomable
gift that cannot be questioned in its ways.

More often,it will come and take hold of you, celebrate you
for a brief moment, then move on.

When this happens to young people, they too often try to grasp the
love and hold it to them, refusing to see that it is a gift that is
freely given and a gift that just as freely, moves away.

When they fall out of love, or the person they love feels the spirit of love
leaving,they try desperately to reclaim the love that is lost
rather than accepting the gift for what it was, then moving on.

They want answers where there are no answers. They want to know
what is wrong in them that makes the other person no longer love them,
or they try to get their lover to change, thinking that if some small
things were different, love would bloom again.

They blame their circumstances and say that if they go far away and
start a new life together, their love will grow.

They try anything to give meaning to what has happened.

But there is no meaning beyond the love itself, and until they accept its own mysterious ways, they live in a sea of misery.

If you fall in love with another, and he falls in love with you,
and then love chooses to leave, do not try to reclaim it or to assess blame.
Let it go. There is a reason and there is a meaning.
You will know in time.

Remember that you don't choose love. Love chooses you.

Love has its own time, its own seasons, and its own reason for coming
and going. You cannot bribe it or coerce it, or reason it into staying.
You can only embrace it when it arrives and give it away when it comes
to you.

But if it chooses to leave from your heart or from the heart of
your lover, there is nothing you can do and there is nothing you
should do.

Love always had been and always will be a mystery.
Be glad that it came to live for a moment in your life.
If you keep your heart open it will come again.

ok ok enough! so emo now.... too detailed also.

i wana end off by saying "There are some things that we never want to let go of... people we never want to leave behind, but keep in mind that letting go isn't the end of the world. Its the beginning of new life."

2005-09-19T20:58:00.000+08:00

photoshop is amazing.
Posted by Picasa

2005-09-19T09:14:00.000+08:00

hmm i just realised im supposed to credit the photos to myself. but i didnt even stamp anything on it. grr..... means pple can just take the photos.

2005-09-18T23:33:00.000+08:00

her smile is really radiant
Posted by Picasa

2005-09-18T23:32:00.001+08:00

so cute!
Posted by Picasa

2005-09-18T23:32:00.000+08:00

is she looknig at me? haha dream on...
Posted by Picasa

2005-09-18T23:25:00.000+08:00

ok lar. whatever lar people.

oh... shes so pretty. and no, im not aspiring to be papparazzi. just wana see how pretty she is in real life.

2005-09-18T14:03:00.000+08:00

well try to understand others. i mean im sure maybe he is in alot of pain.

im sure you feel the same way. well.... just cut people some slack then.

but no matter how much i try to be nice to others... it never works out.

2005-09-18T13:50:00.000+08:00

im so pissed off. oh wait wrong blog

2005-09-17T06:38:00.000+08:00

oh you damned fool. you damned fool. why do you go when you know what will happen?

luckily i resisted the urge to go in.

smart boy. but you are still damned. nvm... just smile and wave. and get ignored -_-

2005-09-15T12:04:00.000+08:00

Bloopers... WEE!

In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.

In a Leipzig elevator: Do not enter lift backwards, and only when lit up.

In a Belgrade hotel elevator: To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.

In a Paris hotel elevator: Please leave your values at the front desk.

In a hotel in Athens: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.

In a Yugoslavian hotel: The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.

In a Japanese hotel: You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from Russian Orthodox monastery: You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.

On the menu of a Swiss restaurant: Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.

In a Bangkok dry cleaners: Drop your trousers here for best results.

In a Rhodes tailor shop: Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.

From the Soviet Weekly: There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Arts by 150,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years.

A sign posted in Germany’s Black Forest: It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose.

In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.

In a Rome laundry: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.

Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand: Would you like to ride on your own ass?

In a Swiss mountain inn: Special today -- no ice cream.

In a Bangkok temple: It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man.

In a Tokyo bar: Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.

In a Budapest zoo: Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.

In the office of a Roman doctor: Specialist in women and other diseases.

-------

COURTHOUSE BLOOPERS

Mary Louise Gilman, the venerable editor of the National Shorthand Reporter has collected many of the more hilarious courtroom bloopers in two books - Humor in the Court (1977) and More Humor in the Court. From Mrs. Gilman’s two volumes, here are some of my favorite transquips, all recorded by America’s keepers of the word:

* Q. Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?
* A. By death.
* Q. And by whose death was it terminated?

* Q. Doctor, did you say he was shot in the woods?
* A. No, I said he was shot in the lumbar region.

* Q. Are you married?
* A. No, I’m divorced.
* Q. And what did your husband do before you divorced him?
* A. A lot of things I didn’t know about.
and i really dont wana know

* Q. And who is this person you are speaking of?
* A. My ex-widow said it.
so... shes your wife lar?

* Q. Do you know how far pregnant you are right now?
* A. I will be three months November 8th.
* Q. Apparently then, the date of conception was August 8th?
* A. Yes.
* Q. What were you and your husband doing at that time?
gee what do you think? hahaa

* Q. Mrs. Smith, do you believe that you are emotionally unstable?
* A. I should be.
* Q. How many times have you committed suicide?
* A. Four times.
what? nine lives also?

* Q. Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
* A. All my autopsies have been performed on dead people.
i cant even begin to think of what to say to that

* Q. Were you acquainted with the deceased?
* A. Yes, sir.
* Q. Before or after he died?
err... both?

* Q. What happened then?
* A. He told me, he says, "I have to kill you because you can identify me."
* Q. Did he kill you?
* A. No.
should have said "yes"

* Q. Did he pick the dog up by the ears?
* A. No.
* Q. What was he doing with the dog’s ears?
* A. Picking them up in the air.
* Q. Where was the dog at this time?
* A. Attached to the ears.
cheeky!

* Q. When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to and were able, for the time being excluding all the restraints on her not to go, gone also, would he have brought you, meaning you and she, with him to the station?
* MR. BROOKS: Objection. That question should be taken out and shot.
i agree!

* Q. And lastly, Jimmy, all your responses must be oral. O.K.? What school do you go to?
* A. Oral.
* Q. How old are you?
* A. Oral.
whats your fav sex position? A. -toot-

* Q. What is your relationship with the plaintiff?
* A. She is my daughter.
* Q. Was she your daughter on February 13, 1979?
no she was my son

Q. Now, you have investigated other murders, have you not, where there was a victim?
yeah... *rolls yes* there was a suspect too

* Q. ...and what did he do then?
* A. He came home, and next morning he was dead.
* Q. So when he woke up the next morning he was dead?
its aliiiiiive!

* Q. Did you tell your lawyer that your husband had offered you indignities?
* A. He didn’t offer me nothing; he just said I could have the furniture.
oops!

* Q. Could you see him from where you were standing?
* A. I could see his head.
* Q. And where was his head?
* A. Just above his shoulders.
oh... you think so?

* Q. Do you drink when you’re on duty?
* A. I don’t drink when I’m on duty, unless I come on duty drunk.
thats honest!

* Q. ...any suggestions as to what prevented this from being a murder trial instead of an attempted murder trial?
* A. The victim lived.

* Q. Are you sexually active?
* A. No, I just lie there.

* Q. Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
* A. Yes, I have been since early childhood.

* Q. The truth of the matter is that you were not an unbiased, objective witness, isn’t it. You too were shot in the fracas?
* A. No, sir. I was shot midway between the fracas and the naval.

* Q. What is the meaning of sperm being present?
* A. It indicates intercourse.
* Q. Male sperm?
* A. That is the only kind I know.

* Q. (Showing man picture.) That’s you?
* A. Yes, sir.
* Q. And you were present when the picture was taken, right?
wth?

--------

CHURCH BULLETIN BLOOPERS

hope its not blasphemous :)

Don’t let worry kill you - let the church help.

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.

For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

The rosebud on the alter this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.

This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends. the head and ass?

Tuesday at 4:00 PM there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early. mmmm... vanilla eh?

Thursday at 5:00 PM, there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All ladies wishing to be "Little Mothers" will meet with the Pastor in his study.

This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.

The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind. They can be seen in the church basement Saturday.

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.
:))))

-----------

WEIRD HEADLINES

# Man Run Over by Freight Train Dies [The Los Angeles Times, March 2]
# Teen-age girls often have babies fathered by men [The Sunday Oregonian, September 24]
# Man shoots neighbor with machete [The Miami Herald, July 3]
# Clinton pledges restraint in use of nuclear weapons [Cedar Rapids Gazette, April 6]
# How we feel about ourselves is the core of self-esteem, says author Louise Hart [Boulder, Colorado, Sunday Camera, February 5 ]
# Fish lurk in streams [Rochester, New York, Democrat & Chronicle, January 29 ]

lousy editing!!!

-------

saw these jokes while i was looking up 'suicide' online.
Suicide

2005-09-12T06:43:00.000+08:00

so cool.... so victorian.

wahaha..... so victorian. so goth.

2005-09-11T18:25:00.000+08:00

Which Gackt are you most like?

quiz by mcvarmazi

You are the black, winged Gackt from Malice Mizer's most popular album.
The songs on this album are dark but inspiring. All are unforgettable. Some of Malice Mizer's best work in the Gackt-age is on this CD, for it displays the multi-faceted creativity of this very versatile band.
The corresponding music videos and concert for this album are equally fascinating. Many visual kei looks are considered to be integral to this album, but most famous perhaps is the wing scheme.... where Gackt flew down from the stage ceiling all in black with giant wings like a graceful and solemn raven.

----

NOO im bright and sunshiney!

2005-09-11T09:20:00.000+08:00

oh yeah feel so much refreshed! haha.... stupid job!

woohoo...

anyway i had a dream that $20 will be deducted from the $75. i hope it wont come true!

OMG i feel so up! i feel like going up to everyoen and screaming, "yahhoooooo!" and then hug them!

wahahha!

2005-09-11T00:11:00.000+08:00

Oh joy! i just finished some weirdo job assignment by mcube. wahaha....

approximately 4+ hours of work and $75. oh i do hope that darryl comes through on his word. seeing as how he broke his word on the loudhailers.. hmm..

too bad couldnt get a photo of us dressing as pyjamas clowns. us, meaning me, karthi and rachel.

hmm... we had to dress up as if we just woke up, so we were wearing striking striped pyjamas and pink bunny slippers with a ridiculous yellow furry hat and carry an alarm clock and bolster.

so gross lar the hat! grr....
i got a pink bolster! haha so cute! and my pyjamas feels so velvety silky... *purrs*
rachel looks the most like a pyjamas party girl.
and karthi looks like a zen or samurai master. so farni!

and walk around parco bugis giving out flyers and saying, "Parco Bugis Junction is having its first-ever midnight madness sale! blah blah blah!" basically, promote.

but since my body size suits the carboard sign the most, i shall wear it! haha... too big for rachel and too small for karthi. *nods head* mmm... anyway so malu at first, but gets better and better. esp since the supervisors all not around. shiok!

feeling so up! finished work and got money to pay a certain someone back. havent told her the truth yet... bawgh! dont dare siah.

cheerz people! my first happie post! im loving it!

ps: please ignore the stupid template. its not working yet.